


Out Loud

by thiamtrash



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 13:28:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13342215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiamtrash/pseuds/thiamtrash
Summary: “How am I supposed to be ready? How am I supposed to get through the day without him?” He shoved the pillow back over his face to finish the last part, “Theo left me and it’s my fault.”Inspired by the song "Out Loud" by Gabbie Hanna





	Out Loud

“Please just pick up,” Liam said, shoving his phone to his ear for the twentieth time today. “I j-just need to talk to you. Please,” his voice was trembling now, body shaking as his breathing hitched. 

_“Hey, it’s Theo. You know what to do,”_ Liam sighed and closed his eyes when the familiar voicemail message rang through his years. He dropped his phone to the bed just as the message beeped and started to record. 

“I don’t know why I thought you’d answer,” Liam voice cracked, tears beginning to spill. He laid back on his bed and let his head fall to the pillow, _Theo’s_ pillow that he left in Liam’s room. Liam couldn’t stop feeling foolish; why would Theo pick up the phone? Liam had fucked up and he would never talk to Theo again. His sobs grew louder and louder as he buried his face into the chimera’s pillow, soaking in his scent. The calming scent of Theo lulled Liam to sleep after his heavy breathing returned to normal. 

**

“Liam.” 

Liam was slowly pulled back to consciousness as his body was shook and a familiar voice called to him. 

“Come on, Liam. You have to get up.” 

There was a hand on his shoulder, a body sitting next to him on his bed, shaking him awake. Liam’s eyes shot open and his body sat upright as he hopefully said, “Theo?” His eyes settled on the person next to him and he let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, hey Mase.” Liam let his body fall back down and he covered his face with his pillow; Theo’s pillow. 

“Sorry to disappoint, buddy,” Mason said soothingly. “Scott sent me to check on you and make sure you were getting ready for the day.” 

Liam scoffed as he pulled the pillow from his face and stared at his best friend, “How am I supposed to be ready? How am I supposed to get through the day without him?” He shoved the pillow back over his face to finish the last part, “Theo left me and it’s my fault.” 

There was a sigh that escaped Mason’s body as he reached for the pillow on Liam’s face. “Liam,” he started, gripped the fabric. Liam let out a low growl at someone other than him touching Theo’s pillow and Mason pulled his hands back defensively. “Sorry. But Liam, you know it’s not your fault.” 

“Yes it is dude. I fucked up,” Liam said, voice distorted and muffled. 

“No, you didn’t Liam,” Mason said, grabbing Liam by the shoulders and pulling him up into a seated position. “What happened between you two is no one’s fault. It’s life, unfortunately.” 

Mason leaned in to give his best friend a reassuring hug but Liam didn’t want that. He flinched back, body sliding to the middle of the bed at Mason’s touch. “Sorry,” he muttered, staring down at his fidgeting hands in his lap. “I need to get in the shower. Can you wait downstairs?” 

“Yeah, man,” Mason stood up and gave his friend a sympathetic look. He really did feel bad Liam but he didn’t know how to help him through this. Theo had been the love of Liam’s life; he loved him more than he ever loved Hayden. Now that they weren’t together, Liam was a wreck, a broken shell of his former best friend. It broke Mason’s heart to see him this way and knowing that he couldn’t fix it. 

Liam continued to stare at his fidgeting hands as Mason crossed the room and made his way to the door. “I’ll be downstairs when you’re done,” Mason said. When Liam hummed in response, he exited the room and closed the door with a soft click. As he started to move toward the stairs, he heard Liam begin sobbing. He turned around and reached for the handle, ready to console his friend but stopped when he Liam talking.

“I’m so sorry, Theo. I know you won’t listen to this message but I just needed to say it, out loud,” Liam’s cries got louder but he could tell Liam was trying to keep it down so he didn’t alarm his best friend that was supposed to be downstairs. “It’s my fault. Everything that happened was because of me. I fucked up, I get that. I just- please come back, Theo. _Please._ I need you. I’m so sorry for everything.” Mason heard Liam sigh and a crash that made him flinch back. Liam must’ve thrown his phone after he hung up, Mason thought. He continued down the stairs to the living room when he heard running water coming from Liam’s bathroom. 

**

It was almost an hour before Liam finally pulled himself down the stairs and met Mason in the living room. 

“You look good, buddy,” Mason said with a small, half-smile. 

“Thanks,” Liam was again looking down at his still fidgeting hands. 

“Ready to go?” Mason asked, placing a supportive hand on Liam’s shoulder and giving a tight squeeze. 

“No,” he replied, voice cracking as tears filled his eyes again. “I can’t do this, Mason.”

“I know its hard dude,” Mason said, placing his other hand on Liam’s other shoulder. “But I’ll be with you the whole day.” He watched as Liam’s head sunk even lower and his body began to shake as soft sobs escaped Liam’s lungs. “We really need to go or we’ll be late, Liam.” 

Liam didn’t respond verbally, just shook his head and let his friend lead him to the passenger seat of his car. The drive didn’t take too long; Liam just laid his head against the window and watched as the car passed by the preserve and then the hospital, letting memories flood his head. 

_“Why do I get the feeling this kid is tougher than he looks?”_

_“Being the bait.”_

_“I’m not dying for you.”_

_“Okay, let’s fight.”_

And that’s all they ever did. Fight. Each other, enemies, friends. They’re entire relationship consisted of fight after fight. They both knew that this could happen if they decided to take the risk of being together. They knew each other, after all. They knew all about each other’s anger issues and how neither would back down from a fight. Except now they’d never fight together again. Liam had made sure of that. 

Liam fought to keep his tears at bay as he recalled the memory of just a few nights ago. 

_“Liam, stop!”_

_“No, Theo. We have to do this!”_

_“Liam, if we go in there now, we’ll be outnumbered. I won’t be able to protect-“_

_“I can protect myself!”_

_“I know that, Little Wolf. But there’s too many of them in there. If we go in, we might be forced to fight with deadly force.”_

_“That never bothered you before. Fuck- Theo-”_

_“What? Still? After a year, you still only see me as that evil chimera that would murder people any chance he gets? Really, Liam?”_

_“No, Theo, that’s not what-“_

_“Fuck you, Liam. We’ll talk about this later. Let’s just get this over with.”_

And it didn’t end well. Liam fucked up. He crossed a line and made a terrible decision and it cost him his relationship with Theo. 

“We’re here, Liam,” Mason called as he put his car in park and killed the engine. 

Liam raised his head and looked at his best friend’s sympathetic smile. “Okay. Let’s get this over with.” 

The two exited the car and walked over to where their friends were standing. Liam didn’t look at any of them but he knew that they were all staring at him, gauging his emotions. Corey was the first to speak up, “How are you, Liam?” 

“How do you think, Corey?!” Liam snapped; eyes finding their way to Corey’s as he glared. Corey flinched a little and leaned into his boyfriend’s side. “Sorry, I’m just not ready to be here.” 

“We get it, Liam,” Nolan said. “We’re here for you. You know that right?” 

Liam turned to look at Nolan and just nodded. “It’s about to start. Better take our seats.” 

They all nodded and turned to take their seats. Liam was about to sit down but was stopped by someone’s hand gripping his arm. He turned and saw Scott looking down at his, sadness painted across his face. Liam let himself be pulled into his Alpha’s hug and cherished the warmth that spread through his body. 

“We’re all here for you,” he said in Liam’s ear. “You just have to reach out to us. Don’t bottle this up. We’ll help you through it.” 

Liam nodded as he pulled away. He looked into his Alpha’s eyes with gratitude and bent down to pick up the flower that was sitting in his chair. “He hated flowers, you know? Every single one of them, except for this one.” He held the white flower up so Scott could see it and tears stung his eyes again. 

“He was a great guy,” Scott said as Liam wiped his tears away. “It doesn’t matter how we all met now. He redeemed himself, saved you, all of us, so many times over and over again. I never told him but he earned his place in the pack.” 

Liam looked up at his Alpha in shock and embraced him once more. “Thank you, Scott. I know he would have loved to hear that.” 

Liam felt his Alpha nod his head next to him and when he pulled away, Scott was giving him his classic genuine smile. 

The guilt flowed through Liam’s body again as he prepared what he was going to say. Liam fucked up, big time. He made a terrible decision and it cost him his relationship with Theo. And Theo’s life. 

Liam turned around and knelt to the ground, right in front of the stone that read: Here Lies Theodore Raeken. Beloved Friend, Pack Mate, Boyfriend and Brother. 

“I’m so sorry, Theo. I’m sorry that my anger and impulsiveness always got us into trouble. I’m sorry that this time, it got you killed. I said horrible things to you that I didn’t mean and you still saved me. Again. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I can’t imagine going on without you.” 

Liam felt the hot tears as they rolled down his cheeks but he couldn’t be bothered to wipe them away this time. His voice was breaking as he tried to finish his apology to Theo and he didn’t know if he would be able to go on. Just as he was about to get up, he could have sworn he felt a hand on his shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze, telling him to go on. He turned his head slightly but there was no one there. 

Liam’s lips turned up slightly into a small smile as he continued, “I’ll see you again someday. I know I will. My best friend. My boyfriend. My mate. I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3 I promise, I will be back to writing my multi-chapter fic as well! Just needed a break. Comments and Kudos really make my day :) Constructive criticism is welcome!


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